Being afraid of doing and disturbing the status quo.

It’s weird how I feel like my brain is melting at times: trying to fit in my schedule all the things I need to do (or I think I do) and feeling disappointed with myself when I don’t get those done. As we know, we’re our worst critics and often can’t even see the progress we have made so far to be where we stand.

Because you can be so hard on yourself, you may tend to do less, so there’s less to be ashamed of. It is a vicious cycle, though: you do less but then hit yourself on the head for not doing enough. We can’t win at that game.

In those cases, some may try to numb the discomfort with food, alcohol, drugs; you name it. For me, it’s self-help: I try to find what could help, so I don’t have to think about the real issues. Quite disturbing when you think about it: you believe you are virtuous in doing so when in fact, you’re digging a deeper hole.

I found that I absolutely need a structure to thrive. If I’m left to my own devices and can do whatever I want, I have to put a plan together or waste so much time I’ll be in debt to my alarm clock.

So what can I do? Being aware I have a problem is already a significant first step. Next could be to discover the reasons why I act the way I do. Finding my strengths and shortcomings to see what I can do to improve is another excellent step forward. Finally, doing the work and taking notes of the progress, either written or recorded in audio or video, can help.

Most of those steps are similar to what you can find in the AA program. That's a very interesting framework.

Becoming better and deciding to stop acting the way we did is important and exciting: we're at a crossroads, and we have to decide whether to do what's best for ourselves despite the discomfort that may arise from that or we keep doing what we've been accustomed to do for so long.

We still have a choice. Which one will you pick?