Feeling attacked and solving problems

This morning I lost it and got angry again.

I’m much better at keeping my cool these days, but today, I didn’t.

There has been a power outage in my area for a few hours now. When I woke up, it already has been 7h so far. I started my day in solution mode: starting the fireplace and ensuring the fridges and freezers ran.

This was my plan, and I thought it was good, so I was committed to it. After the fire, we got the generator out of storage and started wiring the appliances for power.

All was good, at least I thought. My wife then told me it was not the plan we were supposed to follow. I was a bit upset about it because I did all this and thought it was right. 

Obviously, the step I took was good but not the correct one and in proper order. In hindsight, this makes sense that her plan is better, but at the time, I honestly didn’t remember it. Sure the appliances were running fine now but at what cost? The fuel it takes is something we could use as a last resort when there are other options, and I totally dismissed anything else.

So I was angry, and she was angry. This didn’t help with communication because, in those instances, we both might think we’re right, so we don’t budge.

We were able to explain ourselves and the intentions behind the actions and were able to solve the conflict.

This kind of situation is widespread and very frustrating because we could’ve solved that before it happened if we had proceeded with more communication at the beginning. 

She did make a plan before, but I forgot about that, so she can’t be blamed for my forgetfulness. I’ll write down the plan myself with her details since they were already thought out thoroughly, and that way, I should remember it better.

This leads me to think about how to react in a disaster situation. Sure, it was just a simple power outage, but it could’ve been worse, and we’d be on a pretty lousy start.

Making sure we have a clear head to start acting and have a plan ready are critical first steps. We can’t just rely on gut feeling when we need to calculate every step we take more precisely. For example, if you’re in a pickle, drinking and eating all the food right away without thinking long term can be disastrous. You need to take a step back, see what needs to be done, and ideally consult others to agree that it’s the best course of action.

Having the plan laid out with each detailed iteration can help you execute even better if you don’t have the mental awareness to think this through.

Overall, acting and following a plan are good things to do: you need a plan when you’re unsure what to do, and you need to work and think when the plan doesn’t cover a specific situation fully. You can never be ready for everything, but at least you can prepare.

What do you think? Let me know.