Feeling down…

I’m feeling down right now. I told myself I’d experience the emotions and feelings fully even if they tend to be more negative. It’s easier said than done, to be honest.

It feels like I want to scream but I also don’t want to feel anything, I want to yell at everyone even if it’s nobody’s fault, I want it to be over and yet I don’t want to go through it and experience it.

It is really annoying but describing it as I follow through and live it might help me understand myself better the next time it happens.

This turmoil in the stomach, that sensation in my head, forming a halo of numbness... All of it sucks but this too shall pass. Everything will be just fine afterward, either tomorrow or in 5 minutes. And even if it didn’t, it’s fine too. Accepting what is can be more rewarding than hoping for an uncertain outcome.

EDIT: a cold shower helped and I’m calmer now. This was really an interesting experiment when I look back at it. feeling grounded helped.

This isn’t a traditional blog post like I normally do but it just felt right to jot this down and share it. Maybe it’ll be useful to someone else, even if it’s just to say that if you feel the same, you’re not alone.

What do you think? Do you have suggestions? Let’s talk!