Fixed mindset and the ego

You should never be too proud of your actions because they might not be ultimately yours.

This morning, I went to help a friend fix a sound and camera system. It wasn’t working as expected, so I put my solutions hat on when I arrived. We found the problem almost immediately, so my friend said: “you had to be there so we could solve it.” 

Of course, he was joking, and we laughed at it, but people saying that are serious in some cases. This is when it becomes a real problem. 

Last time, we discussed ego and how praise could be a problem, and here, it’s another example where we might believe the hype around an event or situation when in fact, we’re not the ones having the answer: we just happened to be there at the right time.

This kind of cognitive bias affects judgment and general perception of reality because we might think we’re better than we usually are. And, let’s be frank, we’re average at best on many occasions; we just don’t want to admit it.

This also becomes a confirmation bias because we look back at previous encounters where we happened to “be right” as well, and so this proves to us that we’re even more gifted than we imagine.

This vicious cycle can happen more often when we have a fixed mindset: we’re sure talent and intelligence are fixed, and therefore, if we find ourselves somewhat talented in an area, we often don’t see a reason to improve because of that.

Becoming better when the cup is full and we don’t have anything more to learn is an almost impossible task in this case. 

This is an annoyingly obtuse way of looking at life, and sadly, I thought that way for the longest time. I’m still learning to improve in that area, and I’m grateful for knowing it now. Otherwise, I’d probably be the arrogant jerk I was slowly becoming over the years.

My wife played a significant role in my realignment in life because, like a course correction, I wasn’t going down the right path. I’m glad I understand that better now. 

What do you think? Let me know.