Keeping promises to myself

Today was a day of self-control and discipline, as far as I’m concerned.

The kids decided to invite friends for dinner. They naturally chose to do so as it was time to eat so we didn’t necessarily have enough food prepared for everyone which means I went out and got some more.

I told myself that there’s no need to be angry about it and even though I could’ve said no, they worked hard outside so that’s fine, right?

As I was coming back home, more guests were added to the list. The solution? More food. Again, that was another great opportunity to lose control and yell but it didn’t come to that.

Once back home, as I was getting the pizzas out of the oven, those looked really good and I was really tempted to grab a bite. The thing is my food cheat day is Saturday so, technically, I can’t eat that today. But, who would know if I took a tiny slice, right?

Who? Well, I would.

You see, just as I’m trying to practice patience and calm to improve my life, I’m doing my best to not harm my self esteem and self trust: if it’s ok to break that promise so easily, what’s preventing me from breaking a more important one?

Sure, it’s not the end of the world if I miss a day of workout or eat a slice of pizza on the wrong day but I know that I’m the kind of person who needs to follow strict rules to the best of my ability or I’ll regret it. Otherwise, I tend to fall in a self-indulging pattern which is not really healthy over time.

For each new promise I make to myself, I expect to keep them or I better have a very good reason not to.

I’m currently having a harder time to remain calm than to stop myself from eating cake for example. That’s still encouraging in my eyes: the more I try, the better I get. It all comes down to which habits I wish to pursue and which I’d like to get rid of.

This can all be summarized in one word: practice.