I understand now that I can’t just pursue shiny objects and things I’d like to have because that’s not where you find happiness. For example, if I want fame and glory and get it but then lose it, if I defined myself as being someone who got the accolades, who am I if I don’t get them, right?
It’s not necessary to just have a superfluous life, but also to find value in what we do every day. In the end, does it matter and does it make sense at least to us?
So the question is: what do you really want and why? The more I think about it, the more I realize I want peace, but is it really that or not being judged by others?
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to care about anything anymore: why bother trying to help others help themselves when they can’t even try hard enough, right? But the thing is, we can’t control what others do or think and we can’t even see their internal struggles. We just don’t know.
So, being hurt by the fact we don’t see progress despite our guidance is not the result we should accept: being kind to others regardless of their growth should be the aim.
Having the patience to seek what’s needed can be very tiresome but can be worth the effort. I’m not saying to waste a lifetime trying to fix everyone, but understanding that everyone is struggling in some way should be enough to guide us towards more empathy.
The choices we make regarding the outcomes we want can tell us a lot about how we are as a person. We’re not necessarily narcissistic if we care about ourselves, but it can be if that’s all we do and we use others to get what we want. Nothing is black or white: there are so many shades and colours around that we can’t clearly say without a doubt what’s going on. We can almost always pretty much just assume we know, and we all know where assuming can lead us. Preconceived ideas and suppositions are biases towards a tainted judgement.
So, to turn back to the previous statement, since we don't know what others are going through and we don't even know what they think, what good is it for us to worry that much about what they could think of us? We will inevitably do something others might not accept or understand.
This isn't an invitation to provoke everyone while not caring about the outcomes: it's a matter of being mindful of what we do while simultaneously not focusing on others too much.
Navigating through emotions and thoughts is not an easy task: it requires us to be present if we are to do our best to do what's right. Otherwise, we're simply reacting to events and often, we're just bursting out with the first thing that comes to mind, and it's rarely a nice compliment or a good gesture.
So overall, it's not about being passive or being overly reactive but simply "being". Be present and have more awareness of what is. The shiny objects can be nice and there's nothing wrong with having some stuff, but it's when we obsess over external things and thoughts that we're not as grounded.
What do you think?